It is result day today.
I am depressed, I can't believe that's my result.
How can I get so low, after that much of effort I've put in?!
Worst of all, I didn't manage to get my Economic exemption for actuaries.
Maybe there's a chance that they will lower down the marks of passing the exemption, but that would probably be 1 in an infinity chance.

Depressed and disappointed.

It's not the end of the world.
Maybe my way of studying was wrong, maybe I should have study smart instead, but that's not my style. Maybe so many factors.

This is just the first year, thank god it does not contribute to the final marks of the course.
Next academic year, a second chance to prove myself. No more slacking, I can do it.
If my sister could have graduated with a 1st degree honor, I can as well. I believe in myself.

I still can't believe I got that result. I can't believe my eyes, I wish and hope that my personal tutor sends me an email tomorrow telling me he sent the wrong result.

I'm going to try to appeal for it.

I realise throughout the years, I've grown stupid. It's like my brain shrunk or something. Probably there was no more motivation to study, no more competitors I'm comparing myself with, I aced my SPM because I wanted to beat Miss. Smartypants Karmen (LOL, seriously that was the only reason why I studied so hard. Thanks Karmen, you should be proud, you've became my motivation). After that, college...I didn't do as well as I thought I would and now this? Maybe its because I stopped comparing myself with others and stop targeting to win over them.

Have I really became stupid. Is that even possible?