I'm blog hopping, alphabetically.

And when I hit the letter "O", I felt like blogging.

I realise I've been taking things for granted.
I've taken you for granted.
Maybe, one day, when you start taking steps away from me.....then I'll only truly regret.
But I do not want to regret, I do not want that day to come.

I do not like regretting things that I've done in life, but it's unavoidable as much as I want it to.
But I do know, and I tell myself "At least....I've tried."
And if one day I look back...I would be able to say - I've tried...but unfortunately, it just wasn't meant to be.
Life's about taking chances. You might get hurt in the process, or you might get what you've always wanted in the end. But if you don't get what you've been fighting for all this while in the end...well, at least you've tried.

Right?

But how many times do I have to keep telling myself to fight for it? To keep trying and it will change?
My answer would be, as much as I can, because...I really do love you.

But...there's always a "but".
Have you taken me for granted as well?
Have you been appreciating me?

Life isn't bout changing yourself totally. If it was, then who's Carmen?
One day she's this person and next day, she's someone else.
Life's bout improving and moulding yourself to be a better someone.

And I will.

I know I've made so many promises to you that I will be someone better, but I am still the old me, I am still immature, always wanting to pick fights with you. I haven't improved myself.

Everytime we argue, I always say I want this relationship to end, but I truly don't want to lose you. So please don't give up on me. That's one blatant example that I'm still immature in that way.

I actually don't know why I'm writing this, it's not like he reads my blog..but sometimes, there's things I don't know how to say face-to-face but hoping you can see through me and know how I feel.

Although we've been through ups and downs,
to hell and came back in one piece,
I wouldn't change one second of our life together.

I really want this to work out. And I know you do too.
I lliokvee you, Eric.