Everyone has their own up and down moments.

Emotional wreckhead.
Yeap thats me.
I could be the most emotional person you've ever seen.

And after what happened to me for the past couple of months, i've grown more sensitive.

Don't we want our partners to understand, comfort and reassure us when we're down?
I know I would always be there for you.

Why can't you do the same....rather than saying I'm inconsiderate?

It's like asking opinions on the dress you're trying, but once you asked too many questions, your partner says "Shut the fuck up! and stop asking so many questions!"

Why can't you be there for me when I'm down?
I just needeed you to reassure me.

That was it.

Calling me inconsiderate was so not called for.
I really didn't need that now.
You really made it worse.

You said that this 7 months really meant a lot to you.
Feels like this 7 months is nothing to you.
I know it's nothing compared to your previous 5 years.
But please stop making me feel as if its nothing.

It is something. Even just a bit.

I'm just another girl.

This questions are for the guys.

Would you prefer small boobs (cup A-B) or big boobs (cup C onwards)?

Honestly.


*****************************

Went to Robinson members' sales yesterday.
Honestly, Robinson's clothes are like really mature and not so nice most of the time. But the nice ones are like really really nice and really really expensive too. LOL.

But when there's sales, well, everything's cheap. Or just cheaper.

Bought a dress and shawls. ^^
Wanted the other dress, but it looks too mature? And it was RM279. ><

It's hard to buy dresses that fit me at the right places properly nowadays. :(
It's just sad.

OMG, I could finally go online at work. ^^

Work's a bore.
Warning to all. Never ever to work in Sunway Group company.

It's a stupid company filled with stupid people and you have to do stupid works.

Got my cheque the day before. Quite nice to finally see some money in my Malaysian account.
I really really hope I could save enough money to get that LX3. :(
Fotokem had this mini camera fair the other day in Mid Valley and they ran out of stock for LX3! :'( The next choice of mine was Canon G10. That was like RM1888!

WOAH!

Okay, I'm increasing my budget to RM1800 = GBP311
That...doesn't look too bad now in pounds. LOL.

In this 2.5 months of working, I'm sure my salary will amount up to aboutRM3300.

RM3300-RM1800 = RM1500 - RM250 (have to pay back mum & sis) = RM1250.

Okay,RM1250 will be given to parents so they could spend it.........on me. ^^

Die die also I will find that LX3! ><

"I miss him. Sigh."

Everyday I tell my sister that on our way to lunch.

I've sent the surprise birthday gift on Friday and the guy told me it would reach before 30th (his birthday) but I never thought it would reach TODAY!

THAT'S TOO EARLY!

:( Spoil my plan.

But I'm glad he liked the present. I've spent a lot of time thinking what I should get him and money purchasing them but it's worth it. I've actually planned this surprise two months before. Glad it turned out to be alright although I really wished I could be there to surprise him with the gift myself.


And he also had an accident today. :( Nope, no worries, he's fine, and that's all that matters to me actually...but his car isn't. No wonder so many things around me dropped yesterday, I was wondering whether something bad was gonna happen, and this came. I didn't tell him that cause I didn't want him to think that I'm superstitious and stuff like that.

I really miss him. I told mummy yesterday randomly that I miss his smell, hugging him.

60 more days till I could look into your dreamy eyes and fall asleep in your arms again.

I'm bored, lets see what I've bought since I came back from UK.

Dresses - 4
Flats - 4 (Gonna get more, saw really nice ones in Charles & Keith ^^)
Belts - 3
Skinny jeans - 1
Lipbalm from Body Shop - 1
Scarf - 1

Total items : 14

(And other stuffs that you don't need to know that I bought it. LOL)

That's it actually. OMG, aren't you proud of me. ^^ Sigh can't wait for my pay to come outttttt (to be saved for camera, not shopping). Charles & Keith's shoes, WAIT FOR MEEE.

I just want to get more SHOES, handbags and BELTS. and more dresses obviously.
I dont know why, im starting to have cravings for heels / pumps that has studs and striking coloured stuffs that stands out.

This is such a bimbo post.

xoxo

I wonder why I'm not understanding. Even my mum says why can't I be more understanding for him.
Maybe I'm just 19. How understanding do you want me to be?

I'm trying, I'm trying. But why do I feel you're losing that appreciation again?

I miss you, so very very much.

I really wish you could have came down to Malaysia. But....I guess there could always be a next time...

I'm sorry that I haven't been blogging for quite some time.
It's because I don't see the point in blogging when I'm already in Malaysia and if you want to know what's up with me, then just call me out and we shall catch up, ain't it?
Plus, most of my UK friends don't have my blog address.

Nothing much lately, just putting on more and more weight. It' just depressing, especially you know you don't have the time to lose it. And you seriously can't lose it by not eating your favourite oily fattening food. This is my last summer here god damn it, I have to eat everything. But for the record, I've stopped eating durian. You should be proud of me, very proud. ^^

When I said I don't have the time to work out it's because I work from 9am-6am on weekdays (make that 7pm, since I have so much work to do! ARGH!) and on weekends, I'm either out with friends or family for shopping. There's seriously no time at all to exercise and burn some fats. Maybe I should always do sit ups before I go to bed. :(

I've been looking up on cameras. Yes, that camera craving is back again. I remember last year I wanted the Panasonic one so badly but I didn't had enough money for it. But this time, I'm gonna make sure I have enough! But the one I'm going for is pretty expensive. Going for RM1630 at the moment, hoping the price would lower down as time flies, but I'm afraid that it would run out of stock soon too as I've checked out forums and it seems that its pretty hard to find it now. :(

It's the Panasonic Lumix DMC-LX3 baby.


RM1630. Gotta start saving. Less shopping, or rather....shop with family, they pay. ^^

Or maybe someone would be extremely generous to buy it for my birthday present. LOL. Doubt there's such people so it alright. It's just nice to just dream once in awhile.

There's only one thing I really want for my birthday. But it can only be given by the boyfriend. Note, want and NEED is different.

I was quite upset that I didn't get to celebrate my birthday with my collegemates last year. Sigh, it feels like after you plan everyones' birthday party (in general) and in the end you don't get any. I know you should just give and not expect any returns, but c'mon its just human nature. (I know you felt that way at least once , once upon a time ago, so don't judge me). Hence, i've stopped helping anyone plan any birthday parties. I feel like my work is not appreciated at all. :( I'll attend them, but not plan them anymore.

Don't know why I'm typing all this. Some stupid sensitive people are gonna be so pissed off by this. Well, my blog. *angry mode turned on suddenly*

One wish, just to celebrate my birthday with everyone this year. Family, collegemates and high schoolmates. As this is going to be my last summer here, I won't be returning to Malaysia anymore. So can I see EVERYONE before I leave to UK on the Sept 27th?

I feel like the distance is taking a toll on us.
I feel so underappreciated.
I hope everything I'm doing now and going through now for you...is worth it.

Do you really appreciate me?
Or am I just some 19 year old teenager that you just really like at the moment..and nothing more after that?
Why do I feel as if I always come last?

I want to feel important and I want to be loved, god damn it! :'(

Sigh. I don't know how long more can I take....