I am feeling gloomy again.
Why am I so negative?
Sigh. I need it out from my system.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
I realised most of my blog posts in this blog is about my relationship.
How emotional and depressing.
It's like I'll only blog when I feel sad because I don't like talking to others bout it unless I trust you to not gossip behind my back. Telling people your love problems can either be good or bad as in that person might influence you in making the wrong decisions, and I am a very easily influenced person.
Even this times arguement was sort of influenced by my uni friend that came down to Malaysia for a holiday. The things we talked about made me think so much.
And thinking a lot isn't a good thing because it would evolve to something negative in the end.
47 more days till I get back to UK.
Will we get through that 47 days without arguing again?
This 2.5 months of separation has taken out a lot from both of us.
I'm starting to get tired of everything - arguing, crying, jealousy etc.
Probably he's right that I should look at the prettier side of him instead of always looking into the flaws of our relationship.
1. Him eating my cooking eventhough it's too salty/spicy for him. He would at least take a few bites first before surrending. (I STILL don't think my cooking has too much salt in them. ><")
2. He helps me carry my groceries, and when I offer to take some from him, he would say "I need to balance both sides".
3. Us both being so competitive, always cussing each other, always debating on something, always wanting to win.
4. Him trying to stay up as late as possible to accompany me when I'm up doing my assignments/ studying.
5. Him kissing my forehead/ lips wishing me good night and hugs me to sleep.
6. Us watching Chris Rock/ Simpsons/Family guy/ movies together and laughing away.
7. How he acts like a baby when my fingers brush through his hair.
8. How he comes back from work, puts down his bags, takes off his coat & tie, and cuddle up to me in bed.
9. How he scolded the guys for being mean to me.
10. How he sleeps in weird positions sometimes and pushes me off the bed and steals the duvet! ><
I could go on and on, but it's this little things I like bout him. It doesn't always have to be something huge or blatantly visible. It's small things like this that you take time to see and cherish.
I can finally look her into her eyes and feel that she's not a threat to me.
I miss surprises. Will I get any surprises soon? Sigh.
I'm so tired and worn out, I just want to go back home and sleep.
2.5 hours more to go.
26 more days.
How emotional and depressing.
It's like I'll only blog when I feel sad because I don't like talking to others bout it unless I trust you to not gossip behind my back. Telling people your love problems can either be good or bad as in that person might influence you in making the wrong decisions, and I am a very easily influenced person.
Even this times arguement was sort of influenced by my uni friend that came down to Malaysia for a holiday. The things we talked about made me think so much.
And thinking a lot isn't a good thing because it would evolve to something negative in the end.
47 more days till I get back to UK.
Will we get through that 47 days without arguing again?
This 2.5 months of separation has taken out a lot from both of us.
I'm starting to get tired of everything - arguing, crying, jealousy etc.
Probably he's right that I should look at the prettier side of him instead of always looking into the flaws of our relationship.
1. Him eating my cooking eventhough it's too salty/spicy for him. He would at least take a few bites first before surrending. (I STILL don't think my cooking has too much salt in them. ><")
2. He helps me carry my groceries, and when I offer to take some from him, he would say "I need to balance both sides".
3. Us both being so competitive, always cussing each other, always debating on something, always wanting to win.
4. Him trying to stay up as late as possible to accompany me when I'm up doing my assignments/ studying.
5. Him kissing my forehead/ lips wishing me good night and hugs me to sleep.
6. Us watching Chris Rock/ Simpsons/Family guy/ movies together and laughing away.
7. How he acts like a baby when my fingers brush through his hair.
8. How he comes back from work, puts down his bags, takes off his coat & tie, and cuddle up to me in bed.
9. How he scolded the guys for being mean to me.
10. How he sleeps in weird positions sometimes and pushes me off the bed and steals the duvet! ><
I could go on and on, but it's this little things I like bout him. It doesn't always have to be something huge or blatantly visible. It's small things like this that you take time to see and cherish.
I can finally look her into her eyes and feel that she's not a threat to me.
I miss surprises. Will I get any surprises soon? Sigh.
I'm so tired and worn out, I just want to go back home and sleep.
2.5 hours more to go.
26 more days.
Monday, August 3, 2009
I'm so bored at work now.
Nothing to do at all, looking through Facebook and chatting with Cheryl plus trying to get everyone reply to my texts!
Don't you hate it when people don't reply your texts? I get proper fumed up.
********************************************************
Sigh. Let me tell you a story.
Boy meets girl. Girl meets boy. In a club.
Exchanged eye contacts but never said hi to each other.
Girl goes on Facebook and found boy on Facebook.
Girl adds boy, boy confirms friend request.
Boy gives his mobile number so girl could call him up to meet.
Boy and girl texted each other everyday.
Girl told boy she wants to go skating, but no one to go with.
Boy offered to bring her ice skating.
Girl met boy officially on 18th December once she was back from London.
Boy and girl never stopped seeing each other since then.
It was just flirting at first, then to friends, but something more than friends. Then it was like, which evolved to super like.
What's next?
Boy and girl had numerous fights on his past.
Girl feels very insecure with boy and does not have confidence in herself.
Fights, nasty words, tears, break ups, get togethers.
Girl finally tries to let go boy's past but her low self esteem always brings the past back.
Girl's mum told her that she's beautiful in and out and to be more confident with herself.
Boy reassures girl that he wants to prove to her that girl means a lot more to boy than girl thinks.
Girl is happy at the moment.
But will this happy moment last?
Girl has faith in boy and them.
Girl really likes boy a lot.
But doesn't know whether, her liking boy so much, is a good thing.
Girl has always given her 100%, and wishes boy, this time around, to give his 100% too.
Girl misses boy now. But boy is thousands and thousands of miles away, and 7 hours late.
Not every story has an happy ending.
Relationships are not bed of roses.
It's always tears first, then only joy and happiness.
Nothing to do at all, looking through Facebook and chatting with Cheryl plus trying to get everyone reply to my texts!
Don't you hate it when people don't reply your texts? I get proper fumed up.
********************************************************
Sigh. Let me tell you a story.
Boy meets girl. Girl meets boy. In a club.
Exchanged eye contacts but never said hi to each other.
Girl goes on Facebook and found boy on Facebook.
Girl adds boy, boy confirms friend request.
Boy gives his mobile number so girl could call him up to meet.
Boy and girl texted each other everyday.
Girl told boy she wants to go skating, but no one to go with.
Boy offered to bring her ice skating.
Girl met boy officially on 18th December once she was back from London.
Boy and girl never stopped seeing each other since then.
It was just flirting at first, then to friends, but something more than friends. Then it was like, which evolved to super like.
What's next?
Boy and girl had numerous fights on his past.
Girl feels very insecure with boy and does not have confidence in herself.
Fights, nasty words, tears, break ups, get togethers.
Girl finally tries to let go boy's past but her low self esteem always brings the past back.
Girl's mum told her that she's beautiful in and out and to be more confident with herself.
Boy reassures girl that he wants to prove to her that girl means a lot more to boy than girl thinks.
Girl is happy at the moment.
But will this happy moment last?
Girl has faith in boy and them.
Girl really likes boy a lot.
But doesn't know whether, her liking boy so much, is a good thing.
Girl has always given her 100%, and wishes boy, this time around, to give his 100% too.
Girl misses boy now. But boy is thousands and thousands of miles away, and 7 hours late.
Not every story has an happy ending.
Relationships are not bed of roses.
It's always tears first, then only joy and happiness.
Someone who has walked the talk .....
Something I got off my work email sent by the Executive Chairman, Tan Sri Dr Jeffrey Cheah.
Something worth your time to read.
Subject: Robert Kuok Hock Nien's notes on the past sixty years
Tan Sri Robert Kuok Hock Nien (born 6 October 1923, in Johor Bahru , Johor), is an influential Malaysian Chinese businessman. According to Forbes, his net worth is estimated to be around $10 billion on May 2008, making him the richest person in Southeast Asia. He is media shy and discreet; most of his businesses are privately held by him or his family. Apart from a multitude of enterprises in Malaysia , his companies have investments in many countries throughout Asia . His business interests range from sugarcane plantations (Perlis Plantations Bhd), sugar refinery, flour milling, animal feed, oil and mining to finance, hotels, properties, trading and freight and publishing.
Robert Kuok Hock Nien's notes on the past sixty years
(On the occasion of Kuok Group’s 60th Anniversary 10 April 2009)
(1) My brothers and I owe our upbringing completely to Mother. She was steeped in Ru-Jiao – the teachings of Confucius, Mencius, Laozi and other Chinese sages. Ru-Jiao teaches the correct behaviour for a human being on his life on earth. Mother gently, and sometimes strongly, drummed into the minds of her three boys the values of honesty, of never cheating, lying, stealing or envying other people their material wealth or physical attributes.
(2) Father died on 25 December 1948 night without leaving a will. Following the Japanese surrender, he had re-registered the firm as a sole proprietorship. We went to court to get an appointment as managers, permitting us to continue to manage Tong Seng & Co. The judge said that, as there were two widows, the firm and the estate should be wound up.
(3) We decide to establish Kuok Brothers Limited. In mid-January 1949, five of us met at a small roundtable in our home in Johore Bahru. Present were my MOTHER, cousin number five HOCK CHIN, cousin number twelve HOCK SENG, my brother HOCK KHEE nicknamed Philip (a.k.a. cousin number seventeen), and myself (a.k.a. cousin number twenty). We sat down and Mother said, "Nien, would you like to start?" I said, "Fine, yes I will start." To cut the long story short, we got started, and commenced business from a little shop house in Johore Bharu on 1 April 1949.
(4) As a young man, I thought there was no substitute for hard work and thinking up good, honest business plans and, without respite, pushing them along. There will always be business on earth. Be humble; be straight; don’t be crooked; don’t take advantage of people. To be a successful businessman, I think you really need to brush all your senses every morning, just as you brush your teeth. I coined the phrase "honing your senses" in business: your vision, hearing, sense of smell, touch and taste. All these senses come in very useful.
(5) Mother was the captain of our ship.. She saw and sensed everything, but being a wise person she didn’t interfere. Yet she was the background influence, the glue that bound the Group together. She taught my cousins and my brothers and me never to be greedy, and that in making money one could practise high morality. She stressed that whenever the firm does well it should make donations to the charities operating in our societies. She always kept us focused on the big picture in business. For example: avoid businesses that bring harm, destruction or grief to people. This includes trades like gambling, drugs, arms sales, loan-sharking and prostitution.
(6) We started as little fish swimming in a bathtub. From there we went to a lake and now we are in the open seas.. Today our businesses cover many industries and our operations are worldwide but this would not have been possible without the vision of the founding members, the dedicated contributions and loyalty of our colleagues and employees, and very importantly the strong moral principles espoused by my mother.
(7) When I hire staff, I look for honest, hardworking, intelligent people. When I look candidates in the eye, they must appear very honest to me. I do not look for MBAs or exceptional students. You may hire a brilliant man, summa cum laude, first-class honours, but if his mind is not a fair one or if he has a warped attitude in life, does brilliance really matter?
(8) Among the first employees were Lau Teo Chin (Ee Wor), Kwok Chin Luang (Ee Luang), Othman Samad (Kadir) and an Indian accountant called Joachim who was a devout Roman Catholic and who travelled in every day from Singapore where he lived.
(9) I would like on this special occasion to pay tribute to them and in particular to those who were with us in the early days; many of whom are no longer here. I have already mentioned Lau Teo Chin (Ee Wor) and Kwok Chin Luang (Ee Luang) and Othman Samad (Kadir), there are others like Lean Chye Huat, who is not here today due to failing eyesight, and Yusuf Sharif who passed away in his home country India about one and a half years ago and the late Lee Siew Wah, and others who all gave solid and unstinting support and devotion to the Company. It saddens me that in those early difficult years these pioneers did not enjoy significant and substantial rewards but such is the order of things and a most unfortunate aspect of capitalism. However through our Group and employee Foundations, today we are able to help their descendants whenever there is a need to.
(10) I have learnt that the success of a company must depend on the unity of all its employees. We are all in the same boat rowing against the current and tide and every able person must pull the oars to move the boat forward. Also, we must relentlessly endeavour to maintain and practise the values of integrity and honesty, and eschew and reject greed and arrogance.
(11) A few words of caution to all businessmen and women. I recall the Chinese saying: shibai nai chenggong zhi mu (failure is the mother of success). But in the last thirty years of my business life, I have come to the conclusion that the reverse phrase is even truer of today’s world: chenggong nai shibai zhi mu. Success often breeds failure, because it makes you arrogant, complacent and, therefore, lower your guard.
(12) The way forward for this world is through capitalism. Even China has come to realise it. But it’s equally true that capitalism, if allowed to snowball along unchecked, can in many ways become destructive. Capitalism needs to be inspected under a magnifying glass once a day, a super-magnifying glass once a week, and put through the cleaning machine once a month.
In capitalism, man needs elements of ambition and greed to drive him. But where does ambition end and greed take over? That’s why I say that capitalism, if left to its own devices, will snowball along, roll down the hill and cause a lot of damage. So a sound capitalist system requires very strongly led, enlightened, wise governments. That means politician-statesmen willing to sacrifice their lives for the sake of their people. I don’t mean politicians who are there for fame, glory and to line their pockets.
(13) To my mind the two great challenges facing China are the restoration of education in morals and the establishment of a rule of law. You must begin from the root up, imbuing and infusing moral lessons and morality into youth, both at home and from kindergarten and primary school upward through university. Every Chinese needs to accept the principle of rule of law; then you have to train upright judges and lawyers to uphold the legal system.
(14) Wealth should be used for two main purposes. One: for the generation of greater wealth; in other words, you continue to invest, creating prosperity and jobs in the country. Two: part of your wealth should be applied to the betterment of mankind, either by acts of pure philanthropy or by investment in research and development along the frontiers of science, space, health care and so forth.
Something worth your time to read.
Subject: Robert Kuok Hock Nien's notes on the past sixty years
Tan Sri Robert Kuok Hock Nien (born 6 October 1923, in Johor Bahru , Johor), is an influential Malaysian Chinese businessman. According to Forbes, his net worth is estimated to be around $10 billion on May 2008, making him the richest person in Southeast Asia. He is media shy and discreet; most of his businesses are privately held by him or his family. Apart from a multitude of enterprises in Malaysia , his companies have investments in many countries throughout Asia . His business interests range from sugarcane plantations (Perlis Plantations Bhd), sugar refinery, flour milling, animal feed, oil and mining to finance, hotels, properties, trading and freight and publishing.
Robert Kuok Hock Nien's notes on the past sixty years
(On the occasion of Kuok Group’s 60th Anniversary 10 April 2009)
(1) My brothers and I owe our upbringing completely to Mother. She was steeped in Ru-Jiao – the teachings of Confucius, Mencius, Laozi and other Chinese sages. Ru-Jiao teaches the correct behaviour for a human being on his life on earth. Mother gently, and sometimes strongly, drummed into the minds of her three boys the values of honesty, of never cheating, lying, stealing or envying other people their material wealth or physical attributes.
(2) Father died on 25 December 1948 night without leaving a will. Following the Japanese surrender, he had re-registered the firm as a sole proprietorship. We went to court to get an appointment as managers, permitting us to continue to manage Tong Seng & Co. The judge said that, as there were two widows, the firm and the estate should be wound up.
(3) We decide to establish Kuok Brothers Limited. In mid-January 1949, five of us met at a small roundtable in our home in Johore Bahru. Present were my MOTHER, cousin number five HOCK CHIN, cousin number twelve HOCK SENG, my brother HOCK KHEE nicknamed Philip (a.k.a. cousin number seventeen), and myself (a.k.a. cousin number twenty). We sat down and Mother said, "Nien, would you like to start?" I said, "Fine, yes I will start." To cut the long story short, we got started, and commenced business from a little shop house in Johore Bharu on 1 April 1949.
(4) As a young man, I thought there was no substitute for hard work and thinking up good, honest business plans and, without respite, pushing them along. There will always be business on earth. Be humble; be straight; don’t be crooked; don’t take advantage of people. To be a successful businessman, I think you really need to brush all your senses every morning, just as you brush your teeth. I coined the phrase "honing your senses" in business: your vision, hearing, sense of smell, touch and taste. All these senses come in very useful.
(5) Mother was the captain of our ship.. She saw and sensed everything, but being a wise person she didn’t interfere. Yet she was the background influence, the glue that bound the Group together. She taught my cousins and my brothers and me never to be greedy, and that in making money one could practise high morality. She stressed that whenever the firm does well it should make donations to the charities operating in our societies. She always kept us focused on the big picture in business. For example: avoid businesses that bring harm, destruction or grief to people. This includes trades like gambling, drugs, arms sales, loan-sharking and prostitution.
(6) We started as little fish swimming in a bathtub. From there we went to a lake and now we are in the open seas.. Today our businesses cover many industries and our operations are worldwide but this would not have been possible without the vision of the founding members, the dedicated contributions and loyalty of our colleagues and employees, and very importantly the strong moral principles espoused by my mother.
(7) When I hire staff, I look for honest, hardworking, intelligent people. When I look candidates in the eye, they must appear very honest to me. I do not look for MBAs or exceptional students. You may hire a brilliant man, summa cum laude, first-class honours, but if his mind is not a fair one or if he has a warped attitude in life, does brilliance really matter?
(8) Among the first employees were Lau Teo Chin (Ee Wor), Kwok Chin Luang (Ee Luang), Othman Samad (Kadir) and an Indian accountant called Joachim who was a devout Roman Catholic and who travelled in every day from Singapore where he lived.
(9) I would like on this special occasion to pay tribute to them and in particular to those who were with us in the early days; many of whom are no longer here. I have already mentioned Lau Teo Chin (Ee Wor) and Kwok Chin Luang (Ee Luang) and Othman Samad (Kadir), there are others like Lean Chye Huat, who is not here today due to failing eyesight, and Yusuf Sharif who passed away in his home country India about one and a half years ago and the late Lee Siew Wah, and others who all gave solid and unstinting support and devotion to the Company. It saddens me that in those early difficult years these pioneers did not enjoy significant and substantial rewards but such is the order of things and a most unfortunate aspect of capitalism. However through our Group and employee Foundations, today we are able to help their descendants whenever there is a need to.
(10) I have learnt that the success of a company must depend on the unity of all its employees. We are all in the same boat rowing against the current and tide and every able person must pull the oars to move the boat forward. Also, we must relentlessly endeavour to maintain and practise the values of integrity and honesty, and eschew and reject greed and arrogance.
(11) A few words of caution to all businessmen and women. I recall the Chinese saying: shibai nai chenggong zhi mu (failure is the mother of success). But in the last thirty years of my business life, I have come to the conclusion that the reverse phrase is even truer of today’s world: chenggong nai shibai zhi mu. Success often breeds failure, because it makes you arrogant, complacent and, therefore, lower your guard.
(12) The way forward for this world is through capitalism. Even China has come to realise it. But it’s equally true that capitalism, if allowed to snowball along unchecked, can in many ways become destructive. Capitalism needs to be inspected under a magnifying glass once a day, a super-magnifying glass once a week, and put through the cleaning machine once a month.
In capitalism, man needs elements of ambition and greed to drive him. But where does ambition end and greed take over? That’s why I say that capitalism, if left to its own devices, will snowball along, roll down the hill and cause a lot of damage. So a sound capitalist system requires very strongly led, enlightened, wise governments. That means politician-statesmen willing to sacrifice their lives for the sake of their people. I don’t mean politicians who are there for fame, glory and to line their pockets.
(13) To my mind the two great challenges facing China are the restoration of education in morals and the establishment of a rule of law. You must begin from the root up, imbuing and infusing moral lessons and morality into youth, both at home and from kindergarten and primary school upward through university. Every Chinese needs to accept the principle of rule of law; then you have to train upright judges and lawyers to uphold the legal system.
(14) Wealth should be used for two main purposes. One: for the generation of greater wealth; in other words, you continue to invest, creating prosperity and jobs in the country. Two: part of your wealth should be applied to the betterment of mankind, either by acts of pure philanthropy or by investment in research and development along the frontiers of science, space, health care and so forth.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
What is wrong with me?
I'm missing you so badly.
I wish you were here.
Kept crying since that day, putting on a smile for everyone to see that I'm alright especially my mum but when I'm not.
I'm suffering. So much.
The separation period has begun.
How long would I take to recover?
How long would I take to find back my smile?
How long would I take to be ready again....to be hurt by you...again?
Will you be hurting me again?
I really wish I could hear your voice and hug you right now.
I'm missing you so badly.
I wish you were here.
Kept crying since that day, putting on a smile for everyone to see that I'm alright especially my mum but when I'm not.
I'm suffering. So much.
The separation period has begun.
How long would I take to recover?
How long would I take to find back my smile?
How long would I take to be ready again....to be hurt by you...again?
Will you be hurting me again?
I really wish I could hear your voice and hug you right now.
I thought relationships are suppose to be fun and interesting?
Why has it became like a torture tool to me?
There's some words I wish I had the courage to say without rejections, but I would like you to say them first.
Patience, and I shall wait.
I want to text you now, but it would seem like I'm giving in so easily.
How are you?
Why has it became like a torture tool to me?
There's some words I wish I had the courage to say without rejections, but I would like you to say them first.
Patience, and I shall wait.
I want to text you now, but it would seem like I'm giving in so easily.
How are you?
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